Never say this: 10 phrases to avoid during a breakup

The breakup phase is an emotionally difficult process for both partners, and it is important to keep a cool head and not hurt yourself or your partner with your behavior and statements. The most important factor to avoid is insincerity. You should be honest, but not harsh.

"Feelings of anger, sadness, and frustration that have been held back for a long time can easily turn into blame, which is unhealthy. Blame leads to a loss of personal power," therapist Rich Geller explained to Best Life magazine. Therefore, you need to know in advance about the expressions that should be avoided in order not to regret them later.

1. "I've never loved you"

Usually, this clichéd phrase is used to make the breakup process more dramatic because of your own pain. However, you shouldn't lie to yourself or your partner, because you did love them, otherwise you wouldn't have resentment towards them.

Instead, you should replace this statement with "My feelings have changed." According to Lisa Lawless, PhD, this phrase will not only help you talk about the change in feelings, but also not cross out all the positive moments that the couple has experienced.

2. "Let's stay friends"

This expression is very popular because of its constant presence in romantic movies. No matter how much you want to console the person, such a proposal, although it can be comforting, cannot end the relationship. Business Insider notes that this phrase should never be used as a lie, just to reassure a person, but not to continue communication. After all, this can cause a lot of pain the second time around.

If you don't want to cut off all ties with a person, you should explain to them the limits of what is permissible or even avoid any contact for a while.

3. "What can I do to change your mind?"

Begging for love is a futile exercise. Today reminds us that a person's decision has already been made and should be respected.

4. "It's not your fault"

Self-deprecation and insincerity are what this phrase implies.

It's best to explain your feelings, which will make your partner understand the problems that led to the breakup. However, there are also nuances here. "For example, say something like: "I feel that the spark in our relationship has gone out and I want to break up" sounds different than: 'I'm not attracted to you anymore,'" explained clinical counselor Jackie Golob.

5. "You are the reason we are getting a divorce"

You need to control your anger. After all, any insults, in addition to the feeling of humiliation, can make a person hate. "Embodying this in the process of breaking up allows us to magnify the resentment and avoid personal responsibility," explained Rich Geller.

6. "This is the end"

Phrases that easily come to mind, such as "This is the end," "We're done," or "It's not working," are hurtful and disrespectful to the other person.

Instead, it's better to say this: "I think we had a good time together, but I don't think it's going to happen anymore. I also want to know how you feel."

7. "You deserve better"

Although this phrase is a way to comfort a person, it does not provide much information about why the breakup occurred. Lisa Lawless believes that this phrase can be particularly damaging because it is vague. Therefore, it is best to avoid it altogether.

8. "It's either this or nothing"

Constantly "traveling" from one extreme to the other will only lead to a defensive reaction in a person. "Instead, you can say, 'This is something I asked you not to do, and I've decided that it violates our agreement,'" explained therapist and coach Christina Granahan.

9. "You will never find someone like me"

Lisa Lawless describes this behavior as narcissistic: "It means they are unworthy or will not succeed in future relationships. If they end, it only means that the couple is no longer compatible, not that neither partner can be loved anymore.

10. "Don't ever contact me again"

"The reality is that you may want to get in touch at some point. People make mistakes and many couples break up and get back together. Don't lock the door during a breakup," relationship expert April Masini told Business Insider.

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